Friday, November 30, 2012

long time coming....

it's been a loooong time.  :)

i'm posting now, because i am (90%) sure that the only people who read this consistently are already aware that we are expecting, and probably aware that we are expecting twins. 

how exciting.

though we are definitely not keeping the fact that we are expecting two little bundles a secret, we are also choosing to not annouce it to the facebook/social media world for quite awhile.

the twins are indeed identical, and we have been told our two little lovies are sharing a very special bond.  baby a and baby b are sharing a placenta as well as an amniotic sac.  this kind of twinning is rare, only 1% of all identical twins share the same amniotic sac, 1 in 60,000 births.  sounds sweet, and so special! 

unfortunately, this kind of sharing, sweet though it may be, puts that babies in a bit of a precarious situation.  our doc described it as two puppies tied to a tether in a small pen.  as the puppies play and grow, obviously those tether are going to get twisted and intertwined.  for the twins, those tethers are their cords. 


common knots in monoamniotic twins, although scary looking, these cords kept two babies healthy and nourished!

obviously, those cords are the babies life lines, so the concern is that the cords become crushed and the babies are unable to get oxygen and nutrients.  entanglement is a given, we have to watch for compression.

so what this means is that we will watch the babies VERY closely.  lots of ultrasounds and doctors visits until we hit about 24-28 weeks.  at this time, the babies will be viable outside the womb, a very important accomplishment.  once the babes are considered viable, we will begin daily, yes every day, monitoring.  our options at this time will be for me to be admitted to the hospital for inpatient monitoring, or to go the hospital 7 days a week for a couple hours to check the babies.  luckily a babies decline is generally gradual, so by being diligent in watching their development we should be able to make a very well informed decision about when to deliver. 

the goal is 34 weeks.  we will be lucky to make it to 32 weeks.  if at any point after viability the risk of the babies staying in uetro is higher than the risks of a premature birth, they will be delivered.

our chances of bringing home two healthy babies are 80% as long as they are monitored VERY closely.  without this obscene amount of watchfulness or chances drop to 50%.

we will keep everyone posted with any changes, and are simply asking for your love, support, and prayers during this intense time.  we are truly excited for these babes, and feel confident that everything will be fine, but are trying to remain well informed and realistic about what the risks are and what the next couple of months will be like.

we love you all and thank you for your support!

Sunday, September 30, 2012

post baby bod

man oh man.  the post baby bod. 

i have, for the most part, been able to ignore the post baby bod focus.  i haven't had a lot of extreme weight gain or loss, pretty much the same size i was before mason... which was almost 29 months ago including pregnancy.

nothing spectacular, but just fine and dandy..

thi weekend i had to poke my head out of the sand and face the post baby bod head on.  getting measured for my sister in laws bridesmaid dress.  yay.

now let's back this train up and talk.  not only do i get to be measured for this dress, but i get to do so after a 2.5 hour drive to des moines, with the only mother/daughter combo that is more dysfunctional about wight issues than my mom and myself.  double yay.

so, lets carry on.

we get there and i cannot talk about the first half of the appointment.  not because it was that painful, although it was, but because i am trying to remember that this is cyberspace, and it's out there forever.  but ask me in person.  its a good one.

looooooooooong story short:
i went in feeling ok about my post baby bod, i mean sure things dont hang quite as high as they used to, but come on, i made a person, and then fed a person for over a year.  cut me some slack.  overall, with spanx and a good support bra, the general idea is still the same. 

i left feeling a little less confident.

so today i had a doughnut.

that'll show them.

Monday, September 24, 2012

first date

so i went on my first date

my first MOMS group date

i was pretty excited, it was a zoo trip.  i thought a lot about it before hand.  trying to figure out what i would wear, and what i would bring the boys for lunch.  something casual, but flattering, and something healthy and thoughtful so i looked like a very attentive mom.

you may think i'm joking about this, but i'm not.  i thought a LOT about it.  i ended up going with some running clothes, its the only chance those poor things have of getting used right now.  and i think i just brought a lot of healthy snacks. 

the date was... ok.

maybe my expectations are too high.
i mean, she has got a lot to live up to in the friend department.

she was nice, sweet, my age.  she met her husband in junior high.

and married him at 19.

i have no problem with high school sweet hearts, i think it's cute... but when someone tells you that they met their husband in junior high, and then married them at 19, how do you break the news to them that you met your husband at 20... when he was a bouncer... at a bar you were too young to get into, so you used your cute 'personality' to weasel your way in? 

ummm, yeah, we just met through mutual friends, lets leave it at that.

overall it was nice, and good to have company at the zoo. 

hear's to hoping we have more to talk about on our next date...

Friday, September 21, 2012

100

apparently this is my 100th post. 

congrats

a little background info:  mason is VERY aware of where his penis is, and also VERY proud of it.  we are teaching the correct names for body parts, but when mason talks about his favorite, it always comes out 'peepis'

a couple nights ago he was in the bath, and we use the bath to work on learning body parts, so i ask him to wash his feet, wash his cheeks, wash his elbows, you get the idea.  well, as mason is washing his legs, he stops and turns his little face to me, eyebrows raised about  as high as they will go. i asked him what was the deal, and he quickly popped up, grabbed his favorite body part and shouted "GOT YOU PEEPIS!"

where it was trying to get away to is still a mystery.

Monday, September 17, 2012

in the running....

no, I'M not running, but i think i must be in the running for mom of the year.  what other title would you give to the woman who let her 1.5 year old out in the (fenced-in) backyard to play with the dog while she makes dinner.  sounds safe right? 

our dog is 70 pounds.  never had an issue with her.

the neighbors have three yorkies, as in our dog makes.... messes.... the size of their dogs. 

however

in the 15 (*cough* 45 *cough*) minutes that mason was outside playing, the neighbor yorkies wiggled under the fence (again) and came over to play.  this is a pretty common event. 

yesterday the biggest yorkie (the size of my husband's shoe) some how knocked my son over.  he fell, onto the deck, and caught himself... with his nose. 

baby's first bloody nose.  where's the baby book page for that one?

like i said, MOTY, mom of the year.

MOMS group

i joined a moms group.  i was VERY nervous, i didn't know what to expect, but i went.  and boy oh boy am i glad that i did.  apparently, i'm not alone, lots of kids poop on the floor.

the group opens up with talking a little bit about 'mom moments', those things that really only a mom can understand completely.  one girl talked about her life with 3(!) kids, and how she is CONSTANTLY yelling at someone, and someone is constantly crying at her.  and if there is a moment when someone is not crying, then she is probably crying herself. 

sounds sad to most people... it's kind of funny if you are a mom.  funny because it's sad.  and sad because it's true.

i didn't share a mom moment, it was my first day, i had to feel out how honest we were really going to be.  i had to figure out if these moms could handle the fact that my son constantly tries to pull off his diaper so he can play with his 'beeeeeg pepis", or that sometimes mason's voice gets annoying, and i put him in the stroller for a walk/jog so i have an appropriate excuse to put headphones in and drown him out for an hour.

it's still all good though, because even on our worst days, i'm still glad to be home and experiencing them with him.  he is such a sweet boy, but it will be a miracle if my house (and my sanity) survive his childhood.

this weekend mas and i were at hy-vee, and he L-O-V-E-S the carts that are shaped like cars.  so at the end of our shopping trip, when it was time to get out, there was a little, um, resistance.  resistance in the form of screaming, kicking and arching the back.  luckily, i am a champion fit-throwing-kid carrier and i simply hoisted his squirmy body, facing out, over my arm, and began the trek outside, ignoring the tantrum.  we had just made it out the door when i dropped my phone, and after bending down to pick it up i noticed a couple staring at me.  now in their defense, i can imagine what they were seeing.  i probably looked like some un-showered, crazed baby abuser.  but i just lost it a tiny bit.  i looke straight at them and said "what? would you like to take a two-year old home?"  As you can imagine, they promptly lowered their gaze and hurried on. 

i felt bad for all of 30 seconds, but i managed to get over it.  maybe they will think before staring next time.  or maybe i'll learn to control my toddler. 

niether of those sound likely, meh.

Friday, September 7, 2012

hmph

i need to get better about posting when i am enjoying the day... i am starting to annoy myself with this whining. 

however

today, parenting, staying at home, is hard. 

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

it was the best of times, it was the worst of times...

that was dickens, right?

i think he was talking about his 18 month old. in fact, i am sure of it.

best: super cuddly, learning actions to songs like the itsy botsy spider, learning his name, wants to be JUST like daddy

worst:  sticking his hands in his dirty diaper and then running to me (covered in poo) saying 'gross', eating everything.... including chalk and dog poop, shouting no, in appropriate context, running away... outside... into the street.

god grant me strength.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

unsaid

there are a lot of things that are left unsaid before you have kids... no one really tells you how tired you will be, there is rarely complete honesty about the changes that happen to your body, and i am positive no one filled me in that i would truly become as crazy as my mother about vaccuming and mopping. 

but one of the most exciting/frustrating/overwhelming things about this mom gig (for me) has been this unquenchable desire to become better everyday.  it's out of control.  completely out of control.  i have been obsessing all day because i got frustrated at mason this morning (trying to get ot of the house to go to a baby shower and he thought it was the perfect time to strip his clothes off... AGAIN).  i shouted. nothing awful, but i raised my voice, and that happens infrequently enough that he looked at me like i had just told him i was going to kick his dog.  broke my heart.  thought about it all day  long. 

now, i know that he wo't remember it tomorrow, and that it will truly be fine, it was just once, yadda yadda.  bring it back to the desire to always be better.  i just never want to make that face appear again.

*sigh*

just love that little boy

Monday, August 13, 2012

keeping it real

just to be clear, nothing i say in this post negates what i said in my last post.

that being said....

there are days, sometimes a whole day, sometimes (today) a partial day, when if i hear that sweet little voice one more time, i am going to:

a) scream
b) walk around with my iPod on.... LOUD
c) go insane
d) all of the above

i love him.  i love being a mom.  i love staying home.  but every once in a while, my sweet sweet child.... light of my life... just annoys me. 

starting at about 530 tonight, mason started to bug.  bug BAD.  just for about 2 hours.  in all fairness we both needed to eat.  but i strapped him in the stroller, stuck head phones in, and went for a "run" (meaning i put on running clothes, shoes, put him in a jogging stroller, and listened to music that i used to run to, however at no point were both of those practically new running shoes off the cement at the same time).  sounds like a good plan, until you get into my head and realize that i did it so i could put headphones in to drown out mason's constant talking.  seriously. 

when do they start learning social cues?  at  some point he has to figure out that i don't want to read bert and ernie's dino adventure for the fifth time (NOT exaggerating). 

mom of the year.

just keeping it real.

mason: 18 months

a very merry unbirthday sweet boy!  this is a little late, because recently you have taken to be a LOT more work!  but it's ok, you are worth it.

at  eighteen months you are:

:: not only walking, but running, jumping, climbing, falling and dancing

:: your favorite songs are by FUN.  both 'we are young' and 'some nights' top the list.  it is rounded out with 'bushel and a peck' from guys and dolls, and 'hot potato by the wiggles'

:: you are insistent about e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.  no matter what you are asking for, you ask about 6348639864 times inn a row

:: generally, you have very good manners and say 'please' and 'thank you' frequently

:: you are still a BIG eater, and pretty adventurous...  you have your favorites like any normal kid, pizza, french fries, grapes, apples, and cookies, but you also loooove green and red bell peppers, chicken, broccoli, and cucumbers

:: you are still a mama's boy for sure, but you are learning to work the system, and cry out for daddy in the middle of the night, it gets him every time :)

:: you have had three hair cuts, and you hair is really starting to thicken up, it's now boy hair, not baby hair

:: baby b is your favorite friend

:: you love stuffed animals

:: you love elmo, trucks, trains and babies

:: you love to get pretty with momma

:: you like to put the word big in front of everything.  i am frequently referred to as beeeeeeg mama.  there are also beeeeeeg trucks, beeeeeeg elbows, and beeeeeeg bampas

:: you are starting to get humor, and frequently tease me by pointing to yourself and saying 'tatoo?'

::  you have learned the name of particular body parts, and find it fun to point them out on other people....  some times this is appropriate... elbow....  sometimes.... it's not.

we love you very much baby bear.  you continue to bring so much fun into our lives, daddy and i find ourselves seeing fun in things that we would have overlooked before.  next stop... the "terrific" twos!

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

caution: sap ahead

get ready for sap, mush, lovey dovey yuck.  like, lots of it.  if you're not in the mood for it, skip ahead... i know that there is a sarcastic and b*tchy post somewhere further down this blog.  in fact i'll gaurantee it.  or come back in a couple days, i bet i will have another one soon.  but for today, just  the good things in life, and the mushy sappy stuff.

'true friendship is a sacred, important thing, and it happens when we drop down into that deeper level of who we are, when we cross over into the broken, fragile parts of ourselves.  we have to give something up in order to get friendship like that... friendship is about risk.  love is about risk.  if we can control it and manage it and manufacture it, then it's something else, but if it is really love, really friendship, it's a little scary around the edges.'
~cold tangerines

oh gosh, are you buckled in for this one?  seriously, a whole new level of sappiness.

the further i get into this motherhood thing, the more critical i become of my own life.  i see every decision i make as an example for mason, and i, like all mothers i assume, want to set the best example possible. 

one of the areas i am most proud to have him witness are my friendships.  i'm not saying that i have done everything right, or that i am even responsible for these wonderful friendships, but i am proud to show them off. 

you know who you are.

the friendships that we have are, in my humble opinion, a 'little scary around the edges'.  we have been with each other through a lot, the beginnings and ends of relationships, weddings and babies, rodeos and cross country, even cross continent moves, new loves and new homes.  it hasn't always been pretty, and i am sure there have been times when you haven't liked me much, but we have loved each other through it all.  through the times when we were not quite ourselves, not necessarily exactly the person that we orginally became friends with.

we have all had to give something up to build what this has become, we have had to give up the safety net, the veil that protects the real parts of us.  it took time and work and talking and crying and laughing, but it was worth it.

if mason learns nothing else from me, i hope he learns to protect his heart, but to also fiercely and wrecklessy love, not only his family, but his friends, and in time they become family too.

Monday, July 30, 2012

burwell ro-de-o

we enjoyed the 4th annual burwell trip.  i'm not sure we decided what year it was, but the more i think about it, the more i am positive it was the fourth year.  

it lived up to the expectations.

fun, food, cowboys, bulls, uno attack, monster cookies, beers, and a tasty farewell lunch.  yum yum.

the funny thing is, the majority of the people that check this blog were in burwell, but let me recap anyway...

::  we saw the groupie of music.  she was amazing, had the step touch down to a science.  add in a little head bobbing, close the eyes, it all adds up to some wonderful people watching

::  i should have won uno attack... but jill changed the rules and won instead.

:: donita's monster cookies are still the best.

::  it was my first trip away from mason... i missed him, a lot, but it was awfully nice to feel like a kid again.

::  cowboys apparently swing dance.

::  i apparently do not.  :)

::  i constantly feel lucky to have my girlfriends.

::  bull riding i like, calf roping, i do not.  i hate the dinner bell one too.

::  i will never cease to be amazed by the amount of glitter, and rhinestones one cowgirl can wear

::  glitter face tattoos for next year are a must i think.

::  seriosuly ate my weight in monster cookies.




i didn't know matt was going to be there... ~sander






sooooo much fun.

sooooo glad to come home to this



next year ladies?


Friday, July 20, 2012

two months of pictures...

big boy carseat

26 pounds of moby

cousins

sleeps like dad

the zoo wears us out



masons new curtains

this is my floor a lot of days

BFF


my rear view


a boy and his dog


driving the barbie jeep

ever since i can remember i've been poppin' my collar

baby needs breakfast too

donut dates

homemade finger paints: i am a glutton for punishment

shepherd boy


mason's ball



this is how i look whenever i leave the house




cousin 'doot'

strawberry spinach popsicles

child labor

Thursday, July 19, 2012

so precious

riddle me this batman: 

what happens when you strip your son before bath time and he runs out of the bathroom?

answer:

he runs into your bedroom, pees and poops on your bedroom floor, picks up the poop, and runs it back to you in the bathroom.  holding it high, proud as can be.

this is my life.  gross. 

Friday, June 29, 2012

lucky

i am lucky for a number of reasons... 

one of them?  people go through their whole lives looking for a good friend, some find them, some don't.  somehow i have found 3.  3 women who have become permanent pieces of my heart. 

i love us.




bring on burwell 2012

Monday, May 21, 2012

boys love their mommas

i am (no longer) ashamed to say that when we first found out we were having a boy i was a little (lot) disappointed.  i wanted bows and ruffles and sweetness.  the disappointment was truly short lived, and by the time mason had exited his cozy little apartment i was prepared for the chaos ahead.  and chaos it has been!

mason (and boys in general i hear) is BUSY.  always going, always messy, he does everything at 100% eating, running, playing, yelling, hitting, even drinking his milk... everything.

sometimes it is annoying.

sometimes it is wonderful.  last night, while eating an oreo, mason turned, thre his little body at me, wrapped his arms around my next and gave me two kisses.  *sigh* that will never get old. 



little girls are sweet, but those boys, they love their mommas.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

isb

NOT IBS (irritable bowel sydrome)... nope i have isb.  before i tell you what that is, let me warn you that this may be too much information for some of you.  so, sorry. 

i have isb... INCREDIBLE SHRINKING BOOBS!!  oh yes, yes i do, they are shrinking!  some may not be excited, but when you consider the (terrifying) size they grew to while i was pregnant, it becomes clear why this is a celebration for me.  i will look normal again... well, with the help of undergarments at least.  there's no repairing some of this damage. 

Saturday, April 21, 2012

the good birds club

picture this:

mason and i, in the kitchen, watching sesame street.  this skit with big bird comes on... he wants to join the good birds club.  loooong skit short, the birds are mean to him, keep telling him to change, and he keeps changing, until his friends tell him he should stay who he is, because they love him just the way he is.  Then they start their own club centered around being yourself....

cut back to the kitchen... and me, standing there, crying because i'm so happy that big birds friends made him feel good about being himself.

yeah.  that happened.

Friday, April 20, 2012

iPhone photos

**note**  i turned in my final assignment!  just waiting for the team portion and i'm doooooooooooooooooone!!

none of these are particularly good.... but the offer insight to what my days consist of... which apparently is mason.  :)  i really need to expand my horizons.

skinniest... WHITEST baby ever.  i don't know where he gets his coloring, i'm savagely tan

sink bath, because i was too lazy to clean the bathtub.  mom of the year.



child labor is grossly underrated.


a whole lot of cuteness


hate when he's sick... but love when he lets me use the moby...



making a mess is tiring!

dairy free, sugar free, flourless cookies.  surprisingly delicious.

first hair cut
we know where he gets his looks.  lucky boy.



been a family of three for one year!!


cousins = built-in besties



cheeeeeeeeeeeese

love the dad

whiskey tango


the end.