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i feel like i am constantly playing catch up...

i love love love reading these healthy momma blogs. these women grow their own food, nurse their children as long as they prefer, bake their own bread, make their own stock, homeschool their children and hand wash their clothes.  they are as earth mother as it gets.... i want to be them.  they probably run more than i do too....

no i am not ready to give up electricity and start washing my lovely shirts over a wash board, but i do yearn to creat this wonder, warm, homey home for mason and matt.  i want the smell of fresh bread, and hot soup.  i want mason to never know what a poptart tastes like, and to crave homemade bran muffins.  i want him to know how delicious farm raised eggs are with their orange nutrient dense yolks, and choose mangos over ice cream.....

i feel like i am failing miserably.

i have to remind my self that these women are not also working outside the home, and that they probably aren't taking classes either, but for some reason it doesn't make me feel better.  i feel like my priorities are off.  but really they aren't.  i know i should be home, i plan on it, i'm just waiting for the right time.  sometimes i am waiting patiently....

today i am not.